You have two choices in life: 
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead. 
__________ 
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?" 
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." 
__________ 
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 
"Husband Wanted". 
Next day she received a hundred letters. 
They all said the same thing: 
"You can have mine." 
__________ 
When a woman steals your husband, 
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. 
__________ 
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is
finished 
__________ 
A little boy asked his father, 
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" 
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
paying." 
__________ 
A young son asked, 
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa 
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad replied, "That happens in every country,
son." 
__________ 

Then there was a woman who said, 
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got
married, 
and by then, it was too late." 
__________ 
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. 
__________ 
If you want your spouse to listen and 
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your
sleep.   
__________ 
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all. 
__________ 
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" 
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's
still alive." 
  _________ 

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