May 9, 2016 by

The Frustrated Homemaker

Luke 10:38-42

Illustration: Let’s suppose that the doorbell rings. When you answer it, there stands the President of the United States. What would you do?

And what if you opened the door and found that Jesus Christ wanted to come in and spend some time with you? What would you do then? That’s not as far-fetched as it may seem. In fact, that’s what happened one day to two sisters who lived in a tiny village not far from Jerusalem. Our text tells us how they responded to an unexpected visit from the Son of God.

They both loved him and were thrilled to have him stay with them.

It is soon clear that the two sisters were quite different in temperament. Their ways of making Jesus feel at home could not have been more different.

About this text itself, I should add that there is nothing particularly difficult about it. The words are straightforward and there are no unusual theological problems. Jesus comes to the home, Martha reacts one way, Mary another, and Jesus comments on the difference. That’s all there is. Yet this simple story has confused and sometimes frustrated people. Perhaps because of its simplicity, the urge to take sides is almost irresistible. Which sister was right? Was Martha justified in what she said? Should Mary have done more than sit at Jesus’ feet? And behind those questions are deeper issues involving personal identity, individual preferences, and how we can best serve the Lord.

 

I. Martha’s Duty (Verses 38-40)

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. … But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” (Luke 10:38, 40).

Perhaps the place to begin is with a closer look at Martha. Here is my take on her personality. She is bighearted, generous, hospitable, hard working, a big-project person, a giver, and (in the best sense of the term) a homemaker.

Before we go further, I want to say this in her defense. Regardless of what else we may think, it is clear that she loves the Lord and does what she does out of love and not obligation. She respects Jesus so much that without hesitation she wants to honor him by using her gifts to prepare a meal in his honor. Her motives (mission and purpose) are pure even if her attitude is not quite right.

It’s at this point that the true differences between Martha and Mary come into focus. Martha felt responsible to ensure that the meal was properly prepared and served. For whatever reason, Mary did not join her in the kitchen. She chose to sit at Jesus’ feet, a posture and attitude that eventually got under Martha’s skin.

Martha’s “presenting problem” is very clear: “Jesus doesn’t care and Mary won’t help!” She is both criticizing Jesus and blaming her sister. Underneath this are her real problems: unrealistic expectations, misplaced priorities, and misdirected anger. To say it another way, Martha’s problem is that she doesn’t think she has a problem. She thinks everyone else has a problem but her. As long as she could blame someone else, she didn’t have to face what was in her heart.

She is busy but not blessed. Jesus has come to her home but she is so stressed out that the joy has been replaced by frustration and anger. And oddly enough, her desire to serve Christ actually pulls her away from time with Christ. Don’t lose your blessings when serving the Lord. That’s what God purpose to whom serving Him. (Illustration: Taj Mahal construction)

Most of us would sympathize with Martha. Here are 13 hungry men who have dropped by for supper. There is lots of work to be done! Viewed from one perspective, Martha is just being a responsible hostess.

In his book When I Relax, I Feel Guilty, Tim Hansel has a wonderful phrase for the Marthas of the world. He calls them “Weary Servants of the Impossible.” Because they feel the weight of the world on their shoulders, they attempt to “do it all” even if no one will join them.

 

II. Mary’s Position (Verse 39)

She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said (Luke 10:39).

Evidently Mary never said a word when her sister confronted Jesus. That was probably a good idea. What could she say that would have satisfied Martha anyway?

Mary only appears for certain three times in the gospels—Luke 10, John 11, and John 12. In all three places she is always in the same place, at the feet of Jesus. We never see her anywhere else. In our text she is at Jesus’ feet listening to his words. Consider what this means: Sitting—Quietness. At the Lord’s Feet—Closeness. Listening—Attention. To his Word—Submission

Those four words reveal Mary’s heart: quietness, closeness, attention and submission. She is utterly devoted to the Lord and wants nothing more than to be near him.

Did Mary know about Martha’s frustration? Perhaps. Certainly she knew her sister well and couldn’t have been totally surprised when she burst from the kitchen into the living room. But her desire to be with Christ far outweighed any desire she felt to help her sister. On this sacred day, she would choose to listen to every word Jesus spoke.

Two Questions

And that raises two interesting questions. Who is serving the Lord—Martha or Mary? The answer is, both are serving the Lord. Martha is serving him by preparing the meal, and Mary is serving him by listening quietly at his feet. But who is in the better place at this moment? Mary is. She is able to hear what her Master says and is ready to respond at a moment’s notice. Martha is so distracted that she can’t hear anything Jesus is saying.

How simple it is to sit at Jesus’ feet. Anyone who wants to can do this anytime, anywhere.

 

III. Jesus’ Admonition (Verses 41-42)

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42).

How tenderly Jesus speaks to his frustrated servant: “Martha, Martha.” He knows her name and he repeats it twice to assure her of his love. He knows how she feels and he understands her frustration. Even in his words of reproof, there is warmth and compassion in his voice.

Note the contrast between “many things” and “one thing.” Here is the heart of the problem. Martha was so pulled in every direction that she forgot the reason for it all: Jesus had come to her home that day! The “many things” had overwhelmed the “one thing” that really mattered.

Also the little word “but” is a very useful pause for all of us very busy saints of God. Many good things that occupy us can squeeze out the “one thing” that ought to be at the center of life.

Jesus is saying something like this: “Martha, you are so busy serving me that you have no time for me to serve you. I appreciate your love and I recognize that your motives are good, but your heart is divided and distracted. Your zeal to serve me has pushed me to the edge of your heart. Martha, I want to be at the center of everything for you. That is far more important that preparing a fancy meal in my honor.”

How did it happen that Mary was in the “better” place? Answer: She chose it. Given the same opportunity that Martha had, she chose to go to the living room and sit at Jesus’ feet. You will never end up at Jesus’ feet by accident. You must choose to go there or it will never happen. This passage is not about cooking versus praying or the active life versus a life of contemplation. It’s about the divided life verses the focused life, a life of frantic activity versus a life centered on knowing Christ.
Knowing Before Serving

Let me suggest what this means in a practical sense. There will always be plenty of work to do. We will work all our days and when we die, the work will continue after we are gone. Work is not an end in itself, not even work for the Lord. Good work, righteous work, even holy work, even preparing a meal for Jesus, can become a distraction if we are not centered upon the Lord. Knowing Christ must come before serving Christ or else our service will be barren and our hearts will be frustrated.

One writer notes that something eternal is cooking in this home in Bethany, but it’s not in the kitchen. That meal will soon be consumed and forgotten. But the meal Jesus is serving in the living room will last forever. Don’t miss the one while you are preparing the other.

Must we then choose between Martha and Mary? The answer is no. Both have their strengths. Both have their weaknesses. If you were on a sinking ship with Mary, she’d say, “I’ll pray.” Martha would say, “I’ll find the lifeboats.” Both are necessary.

I love the final phrase of the text where Jesus declares that what Mary has gained “will not be taken from her.” What she gained, she would have forever. Meals come and go. Sometimes mothers complain along these lines: “I work for hours to prepare a nice meal and then it’s gone in ten minutes.” But time with Jesus is yours forever. I’m sure Mary never forgot that wonderful day when she sat at Jesus’ feet drinking in every word.

In the end this story is about the danger of distraction while doing good things. The one thing we need most is to sit at Jesus’ feet. It will not happen by accident. And others will not always understand. Including, sometimes, our loved ones.

But what about the meal? Someone has to go to the kitchen. We can’t all be dreamy-eyed mystics like Mary. True, but Martha could have set aside the meal or she could have prepared something very simple. Or she could have rejoiced that her sister had such a wonderful opportunity and that she had the privilege of preparing a meal for the Son of God. Think of it this way. Martha wanted Mary to be like her. Jesus didn’t agree, but he also didn’t tell Martha to be like Mary. He simply commended Mary for choosing the “better part” that day. Martha would always be Martha, she couldn’t and shouldn’t be anything else. But her attitude under pressure was wrong and that is what Jesus confronted.

In Proverb 31:30, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who reveres the Lord will be praised.” I can add, “Too busy serving is not enough when it is without taking time sitting at the feet of Jesus.

 

Conclusion:

 

One thing is needful: To sit at Jesus’ feet. How happy we will be if we find a way (and the time) to do it. So it is for all of us. It is easy to lose our perspective when we are serving the Lord. No amount of service for Christ can substitute for the value of spending time at his feet. It is right to serve the Lord but first we must listen to him. The world says, “Don’t just sit there, do something.” And Jesus says, “If you are worried and distracted, don’t just do something, take time to sit at my feet.”